a very happy birthday to you mimits.
not a very happy day for me though... i miss you terribly.
i have so much to say...
years have passed and yet the yearning to be with you still stays.
bouts of hoping that you're still here with me or that i'm there with you still come and go
pathetic i know. talk about letting go and moving on.
i miss having a mother, a physical mother...
most of all i miss having an ally...
you were not just a parent, but a true blue i-love-you-no-matter-how-many-times-you-goof-up-your-life-kinda-ally.
not just a willing-to-push-you-off-a-cliff-just-to-teach-you-a-lesson-so-you'll-learn-to-dust-yourself-off-and-stand-on-your-feet-tough-love-kinda-parent but a will-be-here-for-you-no-questions-asked-coz-i-see-you're-hurting-and-that's-more-important-to-me-than-what-others-have-to-say-kinda-mother.
you were my biggest fan. you were the world's most wonderful listener. you were my best-est friend. you were the only person i can count on, no ifs, no buts. you were my home.
happy birthday mama.
still wishing you were here with me...
or i'm there with you.
i love you always.