Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Weight-loss Insanity

I read somewhere that a symptom of insanity is doing something over and over the same way but sincerely hoping to get a different result. Yes,
it's the story of my life.

I often refer to my college days as the good 'ole days. Sure, I had the most fun with my friends at that time plus I did so well in school. But
these are not the reasons why I loved that era. I loved it for the simple reason that when I graduated from college, I weighed exactly the
same way as I weighed on my first year there. I was thin! My cheekbones were visible even with my face at rest, (no sucking in the cheeks just
to check if I still HAVE cheekbones) My collar bones were ever present! I was a medium and I can buy clothes in free size.

After I graduated, I took on an office job that I didn't really like, but many approved of. Being the "good girl" that I am, I stayed on,
thinking I'd eventually like it...This must've had an effect on my psyche. Depression set in and pounds started to pile on. Slowly but surely, 20 pounds crept in. After I got
married, my excess pounds welcomed their friends who invited other friends and soon they have a party on my thighs and midsection. I nearly
had a panic attack when I realized one day that I tipped the scales at almost 200 pounds!

To say that I've had trouble keeping the pounds off is an understatement. I have tried various ways of losing weight, from going
vegetarian, going to the gym, trying fad diets, drinking protein shakes etc. If I weren't budget-constrained, I'd probably gone off already for
a liposuction.

I'd binge, I'd gain weight, I'd be remorseful, I'd try to lose weight. I'd lose SOME weight, I'd binge, I'd gain MORE weight than I initially
lost, then I'd feel remorseful and the vicious, frustrating cycle begins again! What's pathetic is I start my latest diet/exercise regimen with
the pure intentions and strong determination... until I fall again into the temptation that comes in the forms of pizza/chocolates/chips etc.

Hopefully someday I find the determination to permanently choose to be healthy... then probably the insanity will end... probably.

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